i'm not sure if i have made the biggest mistake of my life by revealing my past?! but it certainly made me feel extremely vulnerable. and God knows how i hate feeling that way!!!! when i first started this journal, i tried not to write anything personal. i just want to share with you my mind, dreams and thoughts but absolutely not my past or history.
however, i wish to make myself clear. it has never crossed my mind to blame my father for whatever happened to me or my family. my intention is just to tell you what the consequence of his action has done on part of my life. it reminds me of an anecdote.
katakanla (yes, i could still express my mind in Malay, if you don't mind. ;)) apa-apa yang ko buat tu seperti mengetuk paku ke kayu. dan ko tak boleh undo benda tuh. ko cuma boleh cabut je paku yang dah terbenam dalam kayu dan cakap sorry. tapi kesannya masih ada. kayu dah berlubang. nothing you can do to fix it up.
you got my point, right?
... to be continued?! again?!!!